What Do You Get?

And How is It going to change your life forever…?

Just for a moment, think about a problem you want to resolve – something that is causing you stress or preventing you from being as happy as you could be in this moment. I’ll wait.

Got a problem in mind?

Now I want you to imagine…

Okay. Now imagine – however unlikely or outrageous it might seem – I want you to imagine what would need to happen in order for that problem to be resolved…and for you to feel peaceful about it.

As in, it’s totally done with, fully resolved, and you feel good about how you handled it; peaceful...

What has to happen so that you can truly relax and be at peace with this issue?

How would you most like for that problem to be solved? What is your ideal scenario?

Imagine that, whatever the issue facing you, on any given day, with anyone, being able to know almost instantly, with confidence and clarity, what your ideal scenario in any situation would be.

What if you could Solve your problems with ease and confidence?

Then imagine that, instead of being bombarded by self-doubt, uncertainty, negative self-talk, fear of judgment, failure, or rejection – or the thoughts of why you can’t and shouldn’t bother trying…

Instead, imagine that, instead of all that (and that stuck, sinking feeling that always accompanies those thoughts)…

Imagine that you instead feel a sense of confidence and determination, and you automatically just think to yourself: Okay, let’s get on it!

Imagine being able to make your ideal scenario happen in your day-to-day life the vast majority of the time. With much less stress and conflict than you experience now, guaranteed!

And not just once, or as a fluke, or because you got lucky, or because someone told you what to do, or because the stars aligned just right at that moment. No!

Your making-it-happen mojo is working 24/7 – because the way you see yourself and your place in the world around you has changed. You’re able to make your ideal scenario a reality, time and time again – because you know, trust and respect who you are.

You know how to figure out what you want and how to get it – and you have the confidence and communication skills to make it happen.

Imagine it! In every area of your life being able to trust that you can figure out any situation and make it work out for the best…seriously!

That’s what 123 Living is: the principles and the ‘how to’ for getting as close to the bullseye in life, as often as anyone can.

(And, it should be noted, there are some things that are beyond anyone’s control, including yours, and in this program we will talk about what those are and how to deal with them).

What is “123 Living” All About?

123 Living is the recipe for becoming one of those people who generally have their act together (nobody’s perfect, of course – but someone who seems to flow through life; who good things just seem to happen to; who pretty much everyone seems to respect and like…

Not because you willed it to be, or wished it were so, or said the right amount of affirmations, or did lots of good things, or wrote pages in your gratitude journal every day.

Those things might make you feel good for a bit – but they don’t solve your real problem:

• They don’t teach you how to know yourself

• They don’t teach you how to reason and think critically

• They don’t teach you how to trust yourself to solve problems and make good choices – for now and for the big picture of your life…

The Skills You Need for Life

And those are the key skills you need to hit the bullseye on almost every time you take a shot.

Those are the life skills of self-awareness and critical thinking, interdependence and communication.

Those are the skills that make life make sense – and when life makes sense you feel a lot less anxious and a lot less depressed.

When life makes sense, you have more energy and hope and enthusiasm for the things that matter most to you and which make you feel better about yourself.

When you can trust yourself to have your back – in how you treat yourself and how to interact with others – you have a lot less stress and a lot more fun. Which gives you even more energy for the things that matter. And it just gets better and better…At least that’s my personal experience with these tools and philosophy.

And not just mine – there are hundreds of testimonials from people I’ve personally helped over the past 27 years as a counsellor.

I am touched to receive amazing emails from past clients every week telling me about some rewarding or super cool experience they just had because they learned how to put themselves out there in ways that felt truly authentic and safe and it made them feel even more confident in themselves…and round and round it goes.

I love those emails! It makes me so happy to think of that person feeling that kind of happiness and confidence!

That person who, not so long ago, was spending a lot of their life feeling anxious and down; insecure and dependent on people or things or substances like alcohol or food or drugs – just to get an escape from the nagging voice in their own head.

That person, who just wanted to feel better and be able to get on with their life. Just like you.

Or, I’ll get an email about a courageous conversation they had with someone who previously used to really make them anxious just to be around, let alone be able to have a straight conversation with about something personal! But in this email they’ll be telling me about how it was seriously no big deal and they felt great and not at all anxious or stressed around that person, now that they see the situation more clearly and have the tools to handle it.

I love reading those personal wins! I love knowing that, thanks to these tools and the principles of 123 Living, someone has gained such trust in themselves and clarity on the situation that they feel comfortable and strong in themselves and in how they’re taking care of business with someone who used to make them feel small and scared, or just wrong or bad somehow.

I know how great that feels to finally be able to do – and I really love knowing that I’ve helped someone to have that feeling too. Because I know that once you have it, you have it! There’s no turning back, it’s not going anywhere! And life just gets better and better…

And I love hearing from past clients and students about how that thing they used to do, that they hated doing but couldn’t stop…

You know – the food, the diets, the drinks, the drugs, the screens, the wishy washy-ness, the isolation, the mess and chaos, the perfectionism, the procrastination, the need for things to be just so, the lack of boundaries, the inability to just say no – all those things that cause you so much stress but which you just keep doing when you’re sad or mad or scared or bored or lonely or stressed or tired or not thinking clearly…

I love hearing from someone who looked me straight in the eye when we first met and said “I don’t think I can ever really stop, but I have to try…” almost as if they might have been thinking, “Good luck, Michelle! I’m a lost cause, but maybe you have a magic power or something…”

I love hearing that they just had to let me know that they haven’t done that thing or thought about it even for ages – that their moods, behaviours, and relationships are stable and they feel truly happy in the present moment: They feel like they are finally driving the bus of their life rather than being dragged behind it!

Why It Works

I love to help people. My passion is helping people figure themselves out – and I’m very good at it.

So when someone starts out with my by saying, “I don’t think I can!”, the first thing I do is tell them a few things, and then ask them just one question.

And so, just in case you’re not sure you can – because you’ve tried so many things before without lasting success; because you’re tired and you’re not sure you have the energy; because you think something might just be wrong or broken in you and you’re not even sure you should bother trying; because you just don’t want to get your hopes up and fail, again…

Just in case that’s you – even a little tiny bit – hear this:

You may not think you can…and that’s okay.

No one can have complete confidence with something they haven’t done before. So you can’t know for certain that you can solve this problem, until you’ve actually done it. But I know you can. And I’ll show you how to find that confidence in yourself.

You may not have a clue how you’re going to get from where you are now to where you want to be. And that can be scary – to know you have a problem but not know how to solve it.

But! It is not actually possible for you to know how to fix a problem if you’ve never solved it before!

So cut yourself a little slack if you can and remember: You don’t actually need to know how you’re going to get from here to there! That’s what I’m here for! I know how, and I’ll show you everything you need to know, and I’ll be there to help you experiment in a safe space for learning and growing.

The #1 Question You Need to Ask Yourself

All I need to know is this: Are you willing to try? Are you willing to just answer a few questions? (Questions that I show you to ask yourself, and you don’t even have to remember them because they’ll be written down for you?)

Are you willing to ask yourself just a few questions, a few times a day, as you go about your life?

Because if you are, I promise you, you got this!

If you are willing to try, everything else will literally take care of itself.

And before you know it, you’ll be sending me an email about how awesome your life is going and you’ll have made my day!

The 123 of 123 Living

You’re the #1!
123 Living starts with you

It starts with you knowing how to tell with confidence how you feel, at any moment, and why.

It starts with you knowing what your thoughts and feelings mean about what you need and how you’d most like to meet your needs - what your ideal scenario truly is and how you’d like to see it come to reality in your life.

It starts with you knowing how to use that information to make your life and the lives of those around you easier and more fun and fulfilling.

These are the life skills that we’re going to focus on for the first few weeks of this program. So that your overall stress level, and your need for whatever coping strategy you lean on, can come waaaaay down and you can think straight, and have more confidence in your day to day life.

The #2: Them
(The Other people in your Life)

Who else is involved in the situation that stresses you in this moment.

What do you know about them?

What is it that they need or want in that situation? And Why?

What is most important to them now and down the road?

What are they showing you about how able are they to think of you as well as themselves?

How well do they communicate their feelings and needs and pay attention to you when you do?

How do you find out? Right then, in that moment?

And what does all this information mean anyway? What are you supposed to do once you know all this stuff about what is making that person tick?

That’s the 2 of 123 Living.

And once you and I have confidence that you know how to figure out the 1 - You, your values and principles, your goals now and big picture, your thoughts, feelings, needs and ideal outcome and solutions for any situation - once you have that figured out - It’s actually pretty easy to figure it out in other people - and that makes it much easier to build healthy bonds and to avoid those who aren’t able to be stable.

The #3: The Big Picture
…Of your Life, your relationships, your home, your community, and the world at large

Learning how to master interdependence - How to know you’ve done your best to be thoughtful, considerate and respectful, to others, as well as yourself, is the final piece in creating a life well-lived.

It’s the 3 of our 123 Living Philosophy and framework.

It is not possible for a conscious adult human to feel peaceful and confident and content in themselves and in their world if they have not learned to master the art of interdependence. And we are here so that you can learn to feel as happy, peaceful and confident in every moment as possible.

Interdependence is a requirement for being human - You simply cannot get away from being dependent in some way on another person - even if you live a very solitary and isolated life - someone brings you groceries…someone makes sure the gas station has gas - someone makes sure you’re cared for at the hospital - someone makes sure your internet works and someone else makes and posts the content you enjoy - you are dependent on people whether you like it or not! And if you are in the not camp, you’re not alone.

Most people can relate. I know I sure can. And every single person I’ve ever helped through this process started out feeling pretty much the same.

If you want to explore more about why this is, you can visit this page on Codependence and find out about how not knowing the art of interdependence affects your confidence and energy levels around other people.

Not knowing how to do Interdependence is a big part of what makes you want to do some of the coping strategies and avoidance stuff you do and it ends up causing it’s own fairly massive problems…and it is almost certainly a part of what brings you here to me today.

But don’t stress - I bring good news!

I’m here to show you how to make being dependent on other humans, especially your inner-circle humans - your own personal posse - as enjoyable and safe and mutually fulfilling as possible.

It’s easy for any relationship to start out feeling nice and kind and fun and warm and fuzzy. But, how warm and fuzzy and open and safe and trusting your relationship stays, is all about how well you, and the other person, think 123 -

Your ability, in the moment, to consider how your words and actions in each moment will build or dissolve feelings of warmth, trust, safety and respect between you and the other person, has a lot to do with how warm and open your relationship remains.

When you are easily and consistently able to think beyond your own needs in this moment to the big picture of how your choices will affect you and the others involved, tomorrow - and next week - and the month after that - and 10 years down the road, your life gets so much easier.

Your relationships get smoother and more enjoyable - and people naturally see you as someone they can truly trust and rely on. They see you as someone who they can relax around and be honest with, because they trust you to respectfully speaks up for yourself and to only says yes when you really mean and want to.

That’s interdependence.

What do you think? What would it be like to just move through your day to day life, handling big and small stressors and unexpected curve balls with confidence and the minimal amount of stress.

If you’d like to find out for yourself - and make the world a better place for yourself and all those around you, then join me, dive in, and I’ll show you how to master the art of 123 Living.